Family Discourse: Alone, Together

My family has always been a very close-knit group, so any memory I have home or family is intrinsically tied to being with people. It seems that all of memories deal with the dichotomy of being alone versus being with others.

In one of my earliest memories, described in my Memory Glimpse, I was fascinated with the idea of being alone in the presences of others. The same feeling pervades my Dawn Micro-mix - the feeling of being alone and able to do what I want, but still being within the comforts of my own home, with my family for support. From an early age I have been dealing with the balance between individualism and community - from dinner time to moving away from home. It seems like, for my whole life, I've been looking for the perfect balance of the two.

It has been a struggle, though, to find the happy medium. While some things, like my Decision Scene, require complete isolation, other experiences, like my Illumination experience have shown me that oftentimes, being with others reveals new truths.

As my life moves forward, I've been thrown into almost complete independence, and I am still struggling to surround myself with people who can serve as the tight-knit family group, while maintaining my introverted identity.

To tie this idea in with my Career Discourse, the study of Gut Musicology, I've drawn a connection between this independent/unified dichotomy and my love of music. My favorite way to listen to music is being completely alone. I have the independence to listen to the music I want to and think whatever I want to about it. But I am far from alone. The elements that make up the music - the voices, sounds, and ideas - are my companions. Some may be familiar buddies, others new kids on the block, but when I am listening to music I am surrounded by people.

So, the common theme throughout this Family Discourse, as well as my Career Discourse, is the feeling of being both alone, liberated, and independant as well as being loved, supported, and surrounded - all at the same time.